Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it's like iHOP with fire
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
