He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
