Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
