he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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