I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
