It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize