that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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