Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
