thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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