so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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