i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
