Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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