Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm passing your future prison.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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