he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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