I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize