you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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