then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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