Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
