Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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