I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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