So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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