Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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