i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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