If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He shit in the fireplace
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
