I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
