I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize