Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
