Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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