and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
