Its about making memories worth repressing
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
