I'm really into asian looking animals
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
