im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
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No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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