The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
