Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
