your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We are all done wearing pants today
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
