...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
