someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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