She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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