I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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