Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize