What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
