He uses pillows to masturbate.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
