I love black thongs
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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