I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
