I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
