I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
