Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No subtext here. People are naked.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
