i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
