omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
