She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
