id be glad to
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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