At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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