it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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