i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
