My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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