Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
