do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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