Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
